In a dream you saw a way to survive

I came into this tattoo shop to remind myself that you may always remember what has happened to you, but your body will keep changing. A body can become unfamiliar to someone else’s in time. Here’s where counting becomes comforting: Red blood cells can live up to four months, white blood cells just under a month, skin cells a little over a month and a half. This means progress—my body is now all mine again. I survive my history by making my body new in other ways, too: I change my hair color constantly.

While I’d like this to be a neat narrative where I have gotten over my fears, my anxiety, my triggers, and my nightmares about sex after assault, I haven’t entirely. But I’ve learned that, sometimes, you don’t move on. You move through.

It took me a frustratingly long time to live with the aftermath of my assaults. Sometimes, I still get pulled back into nightmares, but I find comfort in the fact that I woke up. The sun is shining. There are dogs in the park. I woke up. I am not altogether my past. The bruises that bloomed faded away, too. Any body, with time, can be new. And that is a blessing. That is joy. That’s why I decided to permanently ink this quote by Jenny Holzer on my body: to reflect that.

(…)

In a dream you saw a way to survive, and you were full of joy.

I’m delirious with pain. I feel fuzzy and light, but I’m awake, and I’m not a ghost—I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive. The difference between this ache and the aches from before: I am safe. I could have told the artist to stop at any time, but I didn’t want to. I decided. I chose to mark my body as my own territory. It’s entirely mine, and though it always was, I know that now, and I blossom, and I bloom. ♦

Way to survive by Arabelle.

lemaddyart:

Not That Good - Nobunny(click the above to listen to the song) 
i dont want to have a job anymore. i just want to draw all day. going into hybernation in prep for supernova bye bye bye bye

lemaddyart:

Not That Good - Nobunny
(click the above to listen to the song) 

i dont want to have a job anymore. i just want to draw all day. going into hybernation in prep for supernova bye bye bye bye

GOODBYE!

lemaddyart:

Been feeling really dumb about not drawing any proper pictures lately and only doing etsy crafts, so today I did a 7 page zine about some feelings I have trouble talking about.
A while ago I wrote 2 letters full of things i never got to say to people who made me feel at one point or another. i sat at the front of the house and burned them both in hopes of burning those people and feelings out of my heart.

GOODBYE!

lemaddyart:

Been feeling really dumb about not drawing any proper pictures lately and only doing etsy crafts, so today I did a 7 page zine about some feelings I have trouble talking about.

A while ago I wrote 2 letters full of things i never got to say to people who made me feel at one point or another. i sat at the front of the house and burned them both in hopes of burning those people and feelings out of my heart.

There’s nothing more complex than human beings. And while we come alive in our idiosyncrasies, they sometimes tear us apart when they should humble us and hold a mirror up to our own shortcomings and gifts.

To this real love, I owe you an apology. I’ve dismissed you, belittled you and written you off because you didn’t appear at my doorstep in the beautifully wrapped package I was conditioned to seek. I should have seen the best of me in you, but I didn’t recognize your face. But I see you now.

Thank you for holding out, knowing I’d find my way back…

Beautiful love letter to real love. As Susan Sontag memorably put it, “Nothing is mysterious, no human relation. Except love. 

For more on how our cultural conditioning makes us dismiss this kind of love, see Dan Savage on the price of admission.

(via explore-blog)

humansofnewyork:

"What’s the most important thing your dad has ever taught you?""If someone hurts your feelings, don’t worry, because that person will also have a turn to get their feelings hurt. And also, you should never undermine people or make them feel unimportant. And also, if you drop out of school, he won’t deal with you anymore."(Kampala, Uganda

humansofnewyork:

"What’s the most important thing your dad has ever taught you?"
"If someone hurts your feelings, don’t worry, because that person will also have a turn to get their feelings hurt. And also, you should never undermine people or make them feel unimportant. And also, if you drop out of school, he won’t deal with you anymore."

(Kampala, Uganda